Whenever you venture into the details of your past, it sometimes gets clouded by the choices you wish you had made. My mind is trying to connect the dots between my version of the past and how I presently feel in order to make a cohesive narrative. In mentally submerging myself into the past, I still feel incredulous about my behavior and what I got away with while married.
If you’ve been following along with The Drive Home stories and a few of the articles on Sex Demystified, you’ll find the neither my ex-husband or I respected the sanctity of marriage. There were no clear-cut discussions on having an open relationship, nor was there any obvious sense of devotion to each other. Even though I don’t know his version of our marriage—his thoughts and reasoning for behavior—his story is not mine to tell. I know when I asked about his past relationships, I was told it was none of my business. If I asked who he was with after a night out, I was always told with friends or coworkers—but never specifics.
We lived together and had separate lives for the first five years of our twenty-year marriage. My affair with Pedro led to many arguments and doubts about my dedication as a wife. In every practical sense, that was true; however, I wasn’t the only person creating issues in our marriage. I was just half of the problem.
Let’s continue the tale of Pedro—part two.