The Heroine Complex
A Tale of Emotional Entanglement, Part 1
We’re deep into The Drive Home series—nine affairs in, to be exact, and the thirteenth’s just around the corner. Unbelievable, right? Who would've guessed that adultery would be such a big part of my story? Don't worry, it wasn't a nonstop affair-a-thon—there were times I stayed faithful and even some genuinely happy moments in my marriage. But looking back, I can't help but wonder if I was just kidding myself. It's tough to be content when you're not thrilled with who you are or who you married. As they say, hindsight's a crystal-clear 20/20.
As I’ve mentioned before, people claim that you won't cheat if you're 100% satisfied with your partner. Life's not always that simple. Sometimes, we cheat because we're feeling selfish, not because our significant other isn't cutting it. Sure, I wasn’t getting what I needed—emotionally or physically—but my ex isn't entirely to blame. I didn't know how to handle our relationship problems. I chose to bottle up my feelings, even if he tended to brush them off. Just because he didn’t consider my feelings, didn’t mean I had to toss my own agency out the window. I could have stood my ground, but honestly, I didn't have the confidence or the voice.
I can't help but wonder what would've happened if I'd been more assertive. I guess we'll never know. What I do know is that relationships are a two-way street, and it takes two to tangle it up.
My last rendezvous with Antonio stretched into 2008, but come summer, we had transitioned into nothing more than friends who happened to have a history of sleeping together. Sure, there were still flirtations lingering in the air, but our physical encounters ceased after his birthday. It might seem as if I was redirecting my focus back into my marriage, but truth be told, my husband and I were just clocking in hours side by side at work. Naturally, this posed a challenge to my extracurricular activities, with him being around all day. Yet, during those summer months, when our kids were out of school, we juggled responsibilities, taking turns staying home.
Then, during one of those hot summer days, a new man strolled into my life.