For those monogamous travelers considering a trip to Swinger Town, USA, the route may not always the easiest one to navigate—even with a map. Despite the best laid plans of mice and men, things can take an unexpected detour if you unilaterally alter course and don’t share the route with your partner beforehand. How many times have you been on an actual road trip and fell asleep, only to wake up and ask, “Where are we? How did we get here so quickly?”
Introducing any sexual novelty into a relationship can fulfill various sexual needs between you and your partner. The journey begins with discussing your wants and desires, and what you hope to learn and achieve along the way. There’s nothing wrong with doing research to obtain knowledge about the various ways to broaden the sexual scope in the bedroom. I personally think you should start with our article about Swinging to get familiar with the terrain of the Swinger Lifestyle.
Aside from the plethora of books, websites, podcasts, etc., you’ll find that everyone has a story to tell about their first time swinging, establishing an open relationship, or implementing polyamory into their lives. What better way to learn than to read about someone’s real life experience?
We’ll start with my story.
I still struggle with exactly what I am searching for in the Lifestyle—we’ve been doing it the better part of six years. Another issue is not wanting to be in the Lifestyle all the time. The latter is totally unfounded because my husband and I decide how often we swing. But my imagination still runs amok, thinking one day, I will wake up and swinging will be the entirety of our marriage. The former struggle is not so easy to define. Mostly because I do not think I have dedicated enough time to ask myself exactly what I want from the Lifestyle. It seems a moot point considering it can quickly turn into a repetitive act of meeting, talking, fucking, and moving on. What is there to learn? Why does there need to be a deeper meaning other than satisfying my needs of being desired by another man?
This is me… the over thinker… hi, nice to meet you.
I’m married to someone with a high sexual appetite and I’ve literally encouraged him to get a side-chick so I can rest. We aren’t interested in polyamory, but I do think it’s naive to think one person can fulfill all the sexual needs of their partner; that is, if you are both completely honest about your desires. Couples should be open to trying new ideas that each of you mutually agree upon. Perhaps some sexual fantasies may never come to pass; however, there are a variety of ways to spice things up in the bedroom; e.g., role-play.
Having said that, I am in a weird place right now, chemically speaking. My sexual hormones aren’t on par with my husband’s sexual appetite. I also have little to no desire to have solo dates (i.e., hall passes) even though he encourages them. Over the years, I have become way more reserved than the twenty-something woman I’m about to introduce. Call it menopause or the ‘been there, did that’ mentality; for whatever reason, sex is definitely different for me presently. Don’t get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoy it; I just … the desire is hard to reach sometimes. The important thing is that I recognize the issue and working to improve. I’ll share this more in an upcoming article about aging and libido.
For now, let’s start at the beginning of my experience.